:')

It's 2 in the morning and I'm wide awake. I'm sitting here alone, in the dark, thinking about life. Thinking about failure and success, about choices, opportunities, serendipity, fate. Thinking about hope.

Seven hours ago, I was sitting here in this very same spot, knowing in any minute everything would be revealed. I was so full I hope that all my work would be paid off that time. I thought I would be free by now. The dream I've had since I was in elementary school, I thought it would come true. Turned out, it didn't. I know this is for the best. I just...  I still haven't found the way to just forget about it and move on with my life. You do know that sometimes it's hard to let go of your dreams, right? To accept the fact that things don't go the way you want it to be, even though it's His plan and you know He knows the best?

It's at this kind of moment I realize I'm surrounded by amazing people. My family and friends are just so supportive and caring I feel like I wanna hug all of them. They have helped me realize that sometimes it's okay to fail. That every once in a while you have to drink the lemonade life gives you. And that there're still other chances. I've missed this chance but I'm not gonna miss the next one. Maybe this is just what I need. All my life I had never been this disappointed. In the eyes of my family, I had always been the one they could count on. The one who could always make it. The one who was without any doubts, would always get what she wanted. But this experience have showed me that there's no such thing as always.

Okay I stopped there for a while and reread a couple of things people have told me in these last few hours and you know what? It put a big smile on my face. So to all of you who have been there, who have told me that it's okay and I'm gonna make it somehow, who have made me smile during my cries, thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me.

Light and Dark

That was the thing: Once, the difference between light and dark had been basic. One was good, one bad. Suddenly, though, things weren’t so clear. The dark was still a mystery, something hidden, something to be scared of, but I’d come to fear the light, too. It was where everything was revealed, or seemed to be. Eyes closed, I saw only the blackness, reminding me of this one thing, the most deep of my secrets; eyes open, there was only the world that didn’t know it, bright, inescapable, and somehow, still there.

- Sarah Dessen -

Songs You Have to Hear Before You Go Deaf

Well the tittle might be (a little) too extreme. By reading that some of you might think I'd write down a list of phenomenal songs from Queen's era to One Direction's. The truth is, no. I just wrote that because, let's be honest, it sounds catchier than 'Songs I Love' right? Anyway, this post is gonna be a random list about some favorite songs of mine that's been accompanying me through everything lately. Some songs might be about happiness, friendship, courage, and falling in love while others are about mending a broken heart, giving up, and pain. Some songs might make you want to jump all around yet some other songs make you want to just lay on your bed and stare at the ceiling.

Ed Sheeran - Kiss Me
"Yeah I've been feeling everything.  From hate to love, from love to lust,  from lust to truth.  I guess that's how I know you. So I hold you close to help you give it up"

Hellogoodbye - Oh, It Is Love
"We'll be holding hands once again. All our broken plans I will mend. I will hold you tight so you know  it is love, from the first time I pressed my hand to yours, thinking, 'Oh, is it love?'"


Ingrid Michaelson - Be Ok
"Open me up and you will see, I'm a gallery of broken hearts. I'm beyond repair, let me be, and give me back my broken parts"


Kris Allen - No Boundaries
"You can go higher, you can go deeper. There are no boundaries above and beneath you. Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you and your dreams."


The Maine - Whoever She Is
"She could be money, cars, fear of the dark. Your best friends or just strangers in bars. Who ever she is, who ever she may be. One thing's for sure, you don't have to worry."


Glee Cast - Lean On Me
"So just call on me brother when you need a hand. We all need somebody to lean on. I just might have a problem that you'll understand. We all need somebody to lean on."


He Is We - Blame It On The Rain
"Tell me does she look at you the way I do? Try to understand the words you say and the way you move. Does she get the same big rush when you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush? Tell me am I crazy, or is this more than a crush?"


My Girl Friday - Love Will Find You
"To whom it may concern, good love will find you someday. But if you keep on looking for it, it will only keep you waiting. To whom it may concern, good love will find you someday. Till then live well, live happy, and live free."


The Cab - Living Louder
"'Cause we're all just kids who grew up way too fast. Yeah the good die young but the great will always last. We're growing older, but we're all soldiers tonight."


Alanis Morissette - I Remain
"I'll keep it to myself. My irade eye swim in my head. Your charm can not distract me from the path I'm born to tread."